I'm still sick. Have been living in pajamas and that's not a bad thing. Congested, can't breathe through my nose, yet I'm determined to go out tonight. Dinner with friends at our favorite italian restaurant then take it from there.
I was determined to go out tonight, however not only am I sick, but my friend Kristen who we were supposed to go out with is even sicker than I so our plans are a bust. Jimbo and I haven't decided exactly what we're doing but it'll be great because we'll be together - sick or not - even if it's ringing in the new year in our pjs. We've got a bottle or two of bubbly brought back from Sonoma this summer and we may get some sort of takeout (pizza is really good with chamapgne), and we have plenty of movies to keep us busy. We just finished watching the Italian movie Cimena Paradisio"
Check in with you later...
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This year? Has been.... great.
I'm still learning about myself and un-learning certain traits that I gathered in childhood, most especially trying to anticipate everyone else's needs and trying to make everyone happy. I cannot make everyone happy; but there is someone who I can make happy. Me. I am the only person with the power to make me happy so I'm going to make that a priority. Certainly I'm not going to not try to make everyone else happy, but I'm not going to ride myself with guilt when I can't.
I guess I've grown up thinking that everything was my fault. Noone ever said it but I think that deep down inside I always felt it and it's stayed with me. It's time to let go of this guilt. You know, I could sit around and busy myself with worries over every little thing that happens around me; I could drive myself crazy and I guess I have done this in the past (who am I kidding? I still do it now) -- but I'm writing this down, putting it out there in the world as a reminder.
A reminder of the things that I can control and the things I can't. To keep these separate and focus on what I can change, and let go of the things I can't.
I am lucky. I have so much to be grateful for:
- a wonderful boyfriend who treats me with caring, love and respect
- a great group of friends who keep me smiling, inspired, and down to earth
- a wonderful family who, despite their so-called imperfections (don't we all have them!?), are always there for me and love me onconditionally
- a great job where I have the best boss in the whole wide world and a bunch of really great coworkers, and which causes very little stress and makes me feel like I've contributed something of value to society
- an even greater side job where I'm my own boss and have creative reign
- two wonderfully adorable, snuggable, soft, furry kitties
- tons of wonderful people who read my blog everyday and share is my life - whether you comment or not, it's nice to have you
- a comfortable home
- lots of comfy pajamas
- my health and the health of my family and friends
I could just go on and on. There is so much I have to be thankful for. I have no right to ask for any more.
Many thanks and best wishes for a happy new year to you all!
Megan :)
